Puny English Customs

Subject: Puny English Customs Wed Feb 05, 2014 6:06 pm

** Ivan Borovsky and Vadim Borovsky are in front of a green screen. The green screen is blank. **

Ivan Borovsky: Since been in United Estados, we pick up on lot of stupid mannerisms of puny English. All the mannerism annoy us, but we fight through agony and give five star match every week for stupid boss who no appreciate it.

Vadim Borovsky: Yes. But we going show everyone from Mother Russia the stupid English custom we find on daily basis. So annoying. Ivan, do restaurant.

** The green screen becomes a classy restaurant. Ivan pulls up a chair and pretends to be sitting at a table. Vadim role plays as a waiter. **

Vadim Borovsky: What I start off with?

Ivan Borovsky: Like, literally, like I want like hundred of potato.

Vadim Borovsky: We special have the hundred potato half off discount where you pay for hundred and half off!

Ivan Borovsky: I take it.

Vadim Borovsky: You want Coke or Sprite?

Ivan Borovsky: Pepsi.

Vadim Borovsky: NO PEPSI! COKE OR SPRITE!!!

Ivan Borovsky: COKE THEN!

** Vadim leaves and comes back pretending to carry a dish and a cup of Coca-Cola. **

Vadim Borovsky: Here the bill. Hurry up pay. Hurry and pay or get out so new customer come in your seat.

Ivan Borovsky: In Russia we get bill when we ask.

Vadim Borovsky: SHUT UP THE RUSSIA! I DON'T CARE THE RUSSIA!

Ivan Borovsky: You like discriminate me.

Vadim Borovsky: SHUT UP PAY THE MONEY!

Ivan Borovsky: This serving size like too big. How do literally anybody eat all this food?

Vadim Borovsky: PUT IT IN A BOX TO GO THEN, PUNY RUSSIAN!

Ivan Borovsky: That a stupid concept.

** They stand up and the green screen goes back to nothing. **

Ivan Borovsky: That our impression of how restaurant in Puny English country work. It stupid. Who eat hundred of potato? Fat America. We strong Russia.

Vadim Borovsky: Yeah. Puny Restaurant have bad food too. Lot of hair in my salad. They say like and literally too much nobody even know the meaning. In Russian we not repetitive.

Subject: Re: Puny English Customs Mon Feb 10, 2014 5:42 pm

Ivan Borovsky: Vadim, show Mother Russia how puny american song go.

** Vadim takes the chair and sits back down. Ivan brings over a mic and headphone for Vadim. The green screen becomes a studio. **

Ivan Borovsky: 3, 2, 1, on!

Vadim Borovsky: Your eyes beautiful. You are beautiful. I love you, beautiful gurl.

Ivan Borovsky: STOP STOP! What is gurl?

Vadim Borovsky: Gurl is new word for girl.

Ivan Borovsky: Ok, whatever. Restart. 3,2,1 on!

Vadim Borovsky: You so sexy gurl. You pretty. Your eyes so pretty. I love you, pretty gurl. Babe you belong with me.

** Vadim signal for the recording to finish. **

Ivan Borovsky: You changed lyrics again. It about love, it cheesy, it repetitive, and it super cliche anyway. Perfect.

** Vadim stands up and the green screen turns back to nothing. **

Vadim Borovsky: That our impression of how music in Puny English country are. Song always about love. So stupid. Same thing every time just change one word. Horrible music.

Ivan Borovsky: Strong Russia give good deep song, no unoriginal crap. Again, in Russia we not repetitive.

Vadim Borovsky: We cleanse these stupid English custom. Vadim can't do no more. Too painful.

Ivan Borovsky: Agree. Ivan out.

** The brothers smash up all the props and leave. **

» Borovsky Brothers > Puny English
» Puny Interviewer
» Puny Booking
» Puny Vadim Always Late