The camera opens to the caption "Earlier this week"
The seas are blue and barely a cloud in the skies as seagulls are singing mine mine mine. As the camera begins to move around, a ship can be seen with the ol' jolly roger flying. The crew are hard at work, some are cleaning and some are drinking. A carrier bird lands on a perch near the captain's cabin.
Pirate 1: Look, we got a message!
Pirate 2: Why doesn't the cap'n just get a phone?
Pirate 1: He kept dropping them overboard. Lost near 50 phones that way. That's why he upgraded to a bird
A moment of silence as the two pirate just look at each other with the expression of "Can anyone be that stupid?"
Pirate 2: What does the damn thing say?
He takes the note of the bird and begins to read it
Pirate 1: Cap'n has a match this week.
Pirate 2: I'll go tell 'em.
The pirate knocks the door of the cabin and proceeds to enter in. After about 10 seconds he leaves again
Pirate 1: What he say?
Pirate 2: He's not there
Pirate 1: What? Where'd he go?
Pirate 2: I don' know. Maybe he fell over.
Pirate 1: If he fell overboard then someone would have said something.
Pirate 2: Tell the crew?
Pirate 1: OY! Lads! Cap'n's missing!
The crew grows silent and a lone pirate shouts,
Pirate 3: Not again!
Pirate 1: I know, this happens more often than it should but you know the cap'n, not so bright
Suddenly a boot comes flying out of nowhere and smacks the pirate upside the head. Then the voice of the captain can be heard shouting
Sebastian Wolfe: Be quiet! I'm trying to get some sleep up here ya ass!
The captain has been located, sleeping up in the crow's nest. He looks over the sight and proceeds to shout
Sebastian Wolfe: What's all this commotion about anyway?!
Pirate 1: You got a match this week captain!
Sebastian Wolfe: Another one? A pirate just can't catch a break these days. Get my boot, i'm coming down
Pirate 1: It fell overboard cap'n
Sebastian Wolfe: You owe a new boot ya wee gobshyte!
The pirates laugh as an empty bottle of rum comes flying down and smashed over the pirates head. The camera fades to black, just like what the pirate now sees