* The theme of a terrible wrestler resounds around the arena. *
* The crowd instantly begins to boo as Davon Hills appears on the ramp. *
* Davon's immense weight makes it difficult for him to walk, so he throws one leg over the other in an attempt to make it to the ring. The crowd chants “OOMPA LOOMPA” as Davon walks to the ring. *
* Davon makes it to the ring and grabs a mic. *
Davon Hills: Thank you, thank you! We all know Oompa Loompa means “Great One”.
* The crowd boos intently. *
* Davon makes a sour face and begins to speak. *
Davon Hills: What happened last week was down right foolish! That criminal, Draven, assaulted me while I was merely doing my job! He defaced the beauty that is pasta, and expected to escape unpunished!
Davon Hills: Not only that, but when he assaulted me, he did it like a coward. He didn't even give me time to get up and he resorted to using weapons. How unprofessional.
* A kid shouts from the stands. *
Kid: You mean like you!?
* Davon glares at the kid. *
* The kid slowly shrinks back into his seat. *
Davon Hills: So Draven, I would like to give you a chance to come out here and fight me like a man! Not only will this prove your weakness, it will also justify my glory.
* Suddenly, Draven appears on the titantron. *
Draven: Hold your horses there, fatty. Justify your glory? I seem to remember you being knocked out on the pavement last week.
Davon Hills: You only knocked me out because you cheated! You used the power of pasta for evil! That is a crime that deserves divine punishment! The face of pasta will devour you whole!
Draven: I am the face of pasta, loser. You're just jealous because a new guy like me has already won more matches than you can ever dream of winning. Freaking jobber.
Davon Hills: Grrr, no one calls me a jobber but myself!
* The crowd suddenly bursts out with the chant of Jobber! Jobber Jobber!”
Davon Hills: SHUTUP YOU UNGRATEFULS! I PROTECT THE SERENITY OF NOODLES AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!
Draven: Face it Davon, they realize the true Noodle Lord is me. Until you can come back here and prove your worth in a match...*cough* I mean um brawl, I see no reason to respect you.
Davon Hills: I challenged you first!
Draven: I have no reason to listen to you, but it would be best in your best interest to listen to me.
Davon Hills: GAH! I've had enough of your smug attitude! DAVON SMASH!
* Davon slowly retreats backstage shouting “FOR PASTA,” while the crowd boos him. *
* The camera switches to the backstage area *
Davon Hills: WHERE ARE YOU PASTA DEFACER!?
* Draven comes running up behind Davon, holding a steel chair. *
Draven: That's Noodle Lord to you, you tub of lard.
* Before Davon can react, Draven smacks him with the steel chair. *
Davon Hills: You bast....
* Davon falls to the ground with a loud thud. *
* Draven lifts the chair to make another strike, but out of nowhere, Phil Barnabush comes running in. *
Phil Barnabush: PUT THAT CHAIR DOWN NOW DRAVEN!
* Draven tosses the chair to the side. *
Phil Barnabush: You have already attacked him once, and even that time, it was uncalled for. I still allowed it to happen. However, pulling this stunt twice is unacceptable.
Draven: C'Mon boss, he made it so clear that he wanted a fight, I'm just here to give him one.
Phil Barnabush: He'll get a fight alright. I'm scheduling you and him to duke it out at the PPV. Until then, I don't want to see you lay a finger on him. Understood?
Draven: Whatever, boss.
Phil Barnabush: Now get out of here Draven! We need some medics over here!
* Draven leaves the scene, while Phil waits for help to arrive. *
* The camera fades. *
Subject: The Real Face of Pasta 
Mon Oct 13, 2014 11:33 pm
