The camera opens up to show the parking lot with the caption “Earlier today”. A man is getting out of his car
Man: Can’t believe my wife is divorcing me, this day can’t possibly get any worse
And he jinxed himself
As the man is about to walk away from his car. A truck pulling a boat comes into the parking lot. And what do you think is on this boat? You guessed it, Pirates led by Captain Wolfe himself
Crew: Yarrr!!
Man: Oh shit!
As the man is about to run away, but he doesn’t notice that his shoelaces are untied and manages to trip face first to the ground
Sebastian Wolfe: Get him lads! Take him for all he's worth!
With that single command the pirates surround the man, blocking any view of what is being done to him
Pirate 1: I got his shoes!
Pirate 2: I got his wallet!
Pirate 3: I got scurvy!
The pirates disperse leaving a man naked and crying in the fetal position. They run back and dump all their acquired items in the back of the boat.
Sebastian Wolfe: Gather round men, i have something to say
Crew: Aye aye capt’n
The pirates stand beside the boat as the man gets into his car and drives away, still crying
Sebastian Wolfe: I have a match tonight against the legendary Captain Kidd so i need you to stand guard here at the boat.
Pirate 1: Kidd havoc sir!
Sebastian Wolfe: What?
Pirate 1: Your opponent sir, his name is Kidd Havok, not Cap’n kidd.
Sebastian Wolfe: You sure?
Pirate 1: Aye sir, Cap’n kidd’s been dead for a few hundred years now
Sebastian Wolfe: What? Why didn’t someone tell me this? Now what am i suppose to do?
Pirate 2: Kick the landlubber’s arse cap’n!
The crew begin to cheer the way only pirates can with a big Yarrr!
Sebastian Wolfe: Settle down lads, but aye, that seems like a good idea mate.
Wolfe sits on the edge of the bottle and grabs a bottle of rum from the boat.
Sebastian Wolfe: I’ll send this kidd fella to davey jones’ locker, then we will paint this town red with blood. You with me lads!
Crew: Cap’n!!
Wolfe smiles an evil grin as the camera fades to black
Subject: Here comes the pirates 
Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:50 am
