** A chubby man with slicked back hair wearing a chef's outfit walks to the ring. He has an angered look on his face and scans the arena. He demands a microphone from the ring crew, but they do not oblige. Then, he takes one forcefully. He goes up into the ring. **
Man: I am Tennis Chef. You probably haven't heard of me because there's a secret plot by GM Phil Barnabush to make sure I am never seen or heard from! He is not the man you all think he is!
** They gasp. **
Tennis Chef: I worked my ass off to get into S.W.S. since it came on the air. I've sent countless tapes to the General Manager. I spammed his e-mail. I even had a dark match for S.W.S. last season. He won't give me a damn contract! I am fed up with it. I heard that the people who succeed are those who take what they want. I'm taking the spotlight now. I am not standing in the shadows anymore. This is my time.
** He gets cut off by the sound of GM Phil Barnabush's music. He comes out to the ring and stands across from the angered chef. He raises a microphone to his lips. **
GM Phil Barnabush: There's two sides to every story, Chef. And you're telling the wrong side. You are not talented enough to be in S.W.S. I don't mean that as an insult. I'm sure you're a great chef, but you aren't meant to be a wrestler.
Tennis Chef: How dare you tell me what I can and can't do!
GM Phil Barnabush: Let me finish. You have sent me countless tapes. I watched 10 of your matches. You lost all 10 of them, and combined, you hit 3 moves total. In 10 matches, you hit 3 moves. And 2 of them hurt you worse than your opponent. You lost the dark match last season. You have NEVER won a match. I contacted your previous General Managers. The fans don't want to see somebody who can't win. That's ridiculous.
Tennis Chef: I can win. I can improve. I'll be a TV Champion if you give me a chance. I'll win the world champion. I am-
GM Phil Barnabush: And you also sent me tapes of your commentary. You are awful on commentary. You called a Multiple German Suplex a "Sparkling Wizard." What the hell is that? Beyond that, your timing is awful and you slur your words.
** Tennis Chef stomps his foot in anger. **
GM Phil Barnabush: Your promos all consist of you throwing out childish, playground insults such as "doofy poopburger" and "you chew worms." That's not the type of promos my wrestlers cut.
Tennis Chef: I am child-friendly! That's very marketable. Do you realize that nobody in S.W.S. appeals to the 3-10 demographic? I'm your guy!
GM Phil Barnabush: How many 3-10 year olds do you see in this audience? I'll give you a hint, it's below 10. And you're not marketable whatsoever. You emailed me with your gimmick. You're a chef who plays tennis. How many world champions have there been with a cooking gimmick? And tennis is one of the least physical sports there is. It's not something that translates well into wrestling. Why did you even mix those two? Cooking and tennis have nothing to do with each other. Your gimmick is no good.
Tennis Chef: I refuse to change my gimmick. I love to play tennis and I love to cook. How dare you judge me?
GM Phil Barnabush: You know what? I'm gonna give you a chance. I want to listen to the fans as much as possible. These fans are going to be the ones who decide if you become a S.W.S. member or not. I'll sign you to a contract...
** Tennis Chef's face lights up. He gets on his knees. **
Tennis Chef: THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!! I APPRECIATE THIS-
GM Phil Barnabush: I'm not finished. And get up.
** He gets up. **
GM Phil Barnabush: I'll sign you to a very short contract. It will last 7 shows, and it ends at the Pay-Per-View Turn It On Again next season. Tonight we are going to open up a poll for all. Do you want Tennis Chef to get a permanent roster spot? The results will be revealed at Turn It On Again, and if 50% or more have voted yes, you are hired. If 51% or more have voted no, you are fired and you get no more opportunities.
Tennis Chef: That's very fair! Very fair. I will try my best to-
GM Phil Barnabush: Your first challenge starts right now. You'll be in your first televised S.W.S. match against David Boyka. Good luck, and remember, the world is watching.
** Phil Barnabush leaves. **
Subject: A Huge Opportunity 
Thu Nov 28, 2013 2:16 pm
