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 Never waste the rum

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Allister King
World Heavyweight Champion
World Heavyweight Champion

Posts : 357
Join date : 2014-09-27
Age : 28

PostSubject: Never waste the rum   Wed Oct 22, 2014 4:34 pm

The camera opens up to show a beach at night where a large bonfire is burning. Surrounding it are the pirates led by their captain, Sebastian Wolfe. They are drinking, dancing, singing and just overall merriment.

Crew:  Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

One of the pirates throws a half empty bottle of rum into the fire, causing the flames to rise momentarily, the pirates cheer

Sebastian Wolfe: OY!

The pirate crew stops singing and dancing as the captain walks towards the one who throw the rum away

Sebastian Wolfe: I saw that! That bottle wasn’t empty was it? WAS IT!?

Pirate: It was nearly done cap’n.

Sebastian Wolfe: Oh, then that’s ok.

The captain walks away and the pirate sighs of relief


Wolfe takes out a gun and shoots the pirate in the knee. He falls and screams in pain

Sebastian Wolfe: I’m sorry, the gun was nearly empty.

He puts the gun back in its holster

Sebastian Wolfe: Never waste the rum. It’s all we got.

Pirate 2: Can’t we just get more?

Sebastian Wolfe: Of course but still. Rum is good

Wolfe sits down on a chest and appears to be disheartened

Pirate 2: Something wrong cap’n?

Sebastian Wolfe: I really thought this chest would be filled with ancient gold and treasures galore but instead...

He stands up and opens the chest

Sebastian Wolfe: It’s filled with copies of Hulk Hogan’s sex tape. No one wants those.

Random pirate in the background: It’s still a nice chest

Sebastian Wolfe: Not as nice as your mother’s!


The pirate crew begin to push and shove the pirate

Sebastian Wolfe: We should burn these. Let no man face the horror of a naked Hulk Hogan. We can keep the chest. I think it would be better than having to take a dump overboard.

Pirate 3: I got splinters on me arse the other day. I think it got infected

Sebastian Wolfe: Too much information lad. Now let’s burn this sin against nature

The crew cheer as they begin to throw the abomination into the fire. The camera fades to black
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