Ivan Borovsky and Vadim Borovsky are walking down the street when they pass The Russian American Pub and Bar. Ivan stops Vadim.
Ivan Borovsky: We stop to eat. Celebrate tag win.
Vadim Borovsky: Puny American drink no good. They Russian vodka is fake. We go celebrate in apartment with real vodka.
Ivan Borovsky: No. Too much work. Eat here.
After a series of facial gestures towards each other, Vadim gives in and goes along with Ivan's idea. They walk into the building and sit down at the bar to order.
Vadim Borovsky: Vadim want strongest wine to drink.
Ivan Borovsky: Ivan want bottle of Bud Light and cheeseburger with fries.
Vadim turns to Ivan with an astonishing look on his face, then grabs Ivan by the shirt.
Vadim Borovsky: BUD LIGHT? WHY BROTHER GET CHEAP AMERICAN BEER. YOU ALSO GET FAT AMERICAN CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES. YOU OUT OF YOU MIND. STUPID!
Ivan Borovsky: No make fun of America no more. They smart. Cheap food allow more buy. American big amount fat food fill stomach more. It better than Russian small portion.
Ivan takes out a bag of hershey's kisses and begins unwrapping one. Vadim reflexively knocks them out of Ivan's hands before he could pop it into his mouth.
Vadim Borovsky: Hershey's chocolate not real chocolate! No eat. They use oil for cocoa substitute. Fake puny american chocolate taste sour and bad.
Ivan Borovsky: No! American smart. Change recipe and get profit. More chocolate for us. More money to company. When get use to taste, it not so bad. Give a try.
The server brings out the food and drinks to the counter. Vadim is so enraged, he takes Ivan's Bud Light beer and pours it all over the cheeseburger with fries. He then takes the plate of cheeseburger and squashes it into the counter with force. Ivan immediately stands up and punches Vadim.
Ivan Borovsky: YOU CRAZY! MY FOOD! MY DRINK! YOU CRAZY RUSSIAN WHAT WRONG WITH YOU!
Vadim Borovsky: YOU the one crazy! YOU NO RUSSIAN YOU IS PUNY AMERICAN DISGRACE!
Vadim takes a sip of his drink, but he spits it out with disgust, then drops it onto the ground. Vadim punches Ivan back. Ivan stumbles back and trips on a chair onto his ass. Vadim rushes out of the building.
Subject: Disgraceful Celebration 
Sun Mar 30, 2014 11:08 pm
