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 Awful Promo (not written by tpmadmike34455 surprisingly)

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Ivan Borovsky
NXT Star
NXT Star


Posts : 33
Join date : 2013-09-07
Age : 25
Location : Soviet Russia

PostSubject: Awful Promo (not written by tpmadmike34455 surprisingly)   Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:31 pm

** Tennis Chef comes to the ring with a mixed reaction. Who are we kidding? There's only like 5 guys cheering for him, and they're doing it ironically. The kids around them are wondering what kind of drugs those guys are on. Maybe they're on the type of drugs they learned about in Health Class. Marywanna was it? It had some long name that they could never remember. They knew for sure it started with Mary. Regardless, the crowd hates Tennis Chef. But he is not bothered. He goes to the ring. **

Tennis Chef: I think I did a swell job at commentating.

** The crowd boos. They know he didn't do a swell job. The 5 guys who are all friends and all "fans" of Tennis Chef until something hipper comes around try to start a few chants. "Tennis Chef" seems to be their primary chant, but they also attempt to get "Cook My Balls" to catch on. It doesn't. The kids laugh because it is sophomoric humor that kids enjoy. Tennis Chef is not bothered by the dismay he is shown from the crowd. **

Tennis Chef: A lot of people told me I didn't. At the forefront of that hatred was Phil Barnabush. The General Manager. He was in my headset during that entire match telling me things like "kill yourself" and "your mom is a stupid idiot." I know the fans love me, and that's all that matters. But I'm going to try a different approach. Maybe my wrestling ability doesn't rival that of... I'm trying to think of a non-controversial, universally-accepted wrestler. Who is great? Daniel?

Crowd: YES! YES! YES! YES! ** The 5 guys who are trying to be edgy by chanting the opposite of everyone else start a NO! chant. Then they start chanting Tennis Chef's real name, which will not be revealed at this time. **

Tennis Chef: Maybe I'm not Daniel. But I know for sure I'm a great promo guy. And that's how I'm going to go from being great to THE great.

** Tennis Chef clears his throat. **

Tennis Chef: We hired this new guy. His name is BrockLesnar. Why is he here? Well, I guess because he failed so bad at MMA. Remember his record? It was pretty bad. Not that great. He lost a few fights. He got decimated by some better competitors. I could destroy him in any kind of fight. Put an octagon around us, and I'll slam him into it. Put us inside a square or a triangle or even on a straight line that extends from one end of space to another. Sure, space is infinite and therefore there aren't ends of it. It was a metaphor. I know I misused that word. What word would work better in its place? I'm always looking to improve my vocabulary. Whatever. BrockLesnar sucks. He sucks so much that he won't even come out here and cut a promo against me. I am too good at promos. He is in awe. BrockLesnar, you suck monkey butt.

** BrockLesnar enters the ring. **

Tennis Chef: Ooh, I'm so scared. You big muscly guy. You don't intimidate me. I saw your MMA fights. You had a not-so-intimidating record. You aren't so tough. Huh? You said something? That's right. You stand there and keep your mouth shut. I want to fight you in an Elimination Chamber Scramble. You suck.

BrockLesnar scoops Tennis Chef up on his shoulders with ease
and he twists his body one way and then another, dropping Tennis Chef to the mat with unprecedented impact executing
 ULTIMATE F5


** BrockLesnar leaves. The fans in the crowd cheer. Except those stupid guys who are basically the wrestling equivalent to hipsters. Damn it, they are hipsters! I don't care what anyone says. They are the definition of hipsters. And the kids are too naive to realize it. They think that their opinions are just different by chance. It isn't by chance, young ones. It is by intent. And it's a shame too because those kids think it's kinda cool that those 5 guys have such wildly unpopular opinions. Those kids will grow up into the same type of idiots those guys are. They have influenced them. What a shame. The camera stops showing Tennis Chef's twitching body and switches to the next segment. **
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Awful Promo (not written by tpmadmike34455 surprisingly)
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